A Holiday Challenge: Five Ways to Support Those Who Are Grieving

Thanksgiving is officially TWO WEEKS AWAY and as a major foodie with an exceptional family, excited doesn’t even come close to describing how I am feeling about it.  The holiday season is suppose to be this way right?  In my case that means decorations galore, fancy Christmas cards with happiness “oozing” out of the mailbox, and time to spend with friends and family.  

Joy, fulfillment, glee…these are just a few of the feelings we expect to experience throughout the holiday season.  Unless you have experienced loss.  In your case, this may be the most painful Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, (insert holiday here), that you have ever experienced.  Whether you have lost a job, finalized a divorce, gone through a terrible break-up, or are grieving the loss of a loved one, this holiday season may not bring the same level of happiness you would typically expect.    

I am not sure where this memory originated, however I can recall someone saying that the greatest challenge after experiencing loss is not necessarily the day it happened, but the period after when everyone else has returned to his or her daily routine and you are left picking up the pieces.

Trying to breathe without falling apart. 

Going into this holiday season I challenge you to think outside of your own happiness and find ways to reach out to those who may be struggling.  After reflecting on this for quite some time, I have compiled five ways to reach out to those who may need extra support in the next few months.

1.  Invite Them

It is that simple.  Whether it is for a meal or to meet up to watch a sporting event.  Invite them.  It gives them an opportunity to look forward to something and begin creating new memories.  Maybe find something productive to do such as volunteering or giving back to the community. 

2.  Send a Holiday Card

I have always enjoyed receiving the cute holiday cards with updates about how our friends are doing, but taking time to write a letter or note that will let that person know you are not only thinking of them, but also the grief they are experiencing.  If it is someone they have lost, then it shows their loved one is still on your mind, which I think can be equally important; just to know that person is still existing in the minds of others can provide comfort.

3.  Stand By Them

Maybe it's while they are filling out job applications, during a church service, or standing next to them while they visit their loved one's grave.  It is important to stand by them.

4.  Give a Gift of Memorial

Every year my mother purchases fresh wreaths and crosses.  They are BEAUTIFUL.  Most of them go to our loved ones graves and my dad and her take them to each gravesite.  I used to be a part of this and while I am sure I complained at times, I now see the significance.  We typically give the traditional wreaths away as gifts, but they would also act as good memorial gifts.  An ornament might also be a good gift for someone struggling with loss.

5.  Make a Donation

Making a donation in memory of someone to a local school, library, or another organization might also be a way for you to show support.  Try and think of something close to their heart that will shine light on them.

Ultimately, I am sure anything you do (that is from the heart) will be enough to elicit a smile or a small moment of hope.  

Please leave a comment below with further suggestions for ways to provide support or maybe even your own personal experience.

I hope you all have a wonderful start to your holiday festivities!  

Thank you for your support and as always...

BE THANKFUL